29 Comments

It is hard to express how utterly refreshing and heartening it is to read your conversation! I especially appreciate hearing your perspective on "not preaching", but instead focusing on "showing Truth". This is one of the most challening (and rarest) forms of cultural commentary and one that Peco and I also strive towards in our own writing. Thanks again for this insightful piece!

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Oct 1Liked by N.S. Lyons

Our Age of Upheaval requires but makes difficult, if not dangerous, walking the line between the personal and cultural/political, the tightrope between microcosm and macrocosm. But that's where high energy lives and we find balance for directed motion. Just as your China-US convergence and bureaucratic agglutination diagnostics have been major and accurate helps in mapping the contradictions and camouflage of that territory, this conversation with Freya India is enormously helpful with the male/female, personal/political/spiritual divides. As dialog, it also shows as it much as it tells. Once more, you supply needed landmarks and guides in the cultural churn. Worth every penny. Thank you.

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Oct 2Liked by N.S. Lyons

This is a stellar conversation- please do more of these! I subscribed to read this so fair play to you on putting it behind a paywall - but it’s also something I want more people to read and that I can share virally so not sure how to square that circle

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Oct 2Liked by N.S. Lyons

This was the most enjoyable thing I have read in a very very long time. Thank you!

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My husband and I met when we were very young so we have been through really bad times and really great times and really average times. We have been married for 26 years and we don't just still love each other, we LOVE each other. Majorly. 😄 It takes a lot of work to get over the first hurdles (especially if you have trust issues) but it's so very worth it all. I can't imagine a life without him and I know he feels the same. Without question. When we were young, my Dad would talk about being to dependent on each other. My dad has been married 5 times. We chose to be dependent because one person is not enough for this world. You need two so one can pick up the slack when the other is down. And, you can't count turns too much. You have to conspire against everyone else, haha. Finally, you need to find someone who makes you want to be a better version of yourself. I want this for everyone. I truly do.

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Mr. Lyons, Would you consider, in order to facilitate sharing, taking down the paywall for sufficient additional donations? I would put up $100.

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Of course, young people are the future so I try to pay attention. However, the place I am in is more focused on the loneliness of the old. Our friends scatter, become disabled or just die. Our children and grandchildren are scattered across the landscape. Having had a parent die in a nursing home after moving 1500 miles from me, I was horrified by the COVID lockdowns. Thank God she was gone by then or it would have killed her for sure.

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GREAT discussion! Interesting that you discuss religion as a possible answer. The more the world has eschewed the Virtues, ((1) humility, (2) charity, (3) chastity, (4) gratitude, (5) temperance, (6) patience, and (7) diligence), the worse we have become as people and as a culture. Now what used to be the vices are encouraged and embraced. How are we doing while embracing wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony? So is a return to embracing virtue the answer, or is there something more? You are moving towards Truth, but religion has never been an answer. Morality is not Truth. Religion is the man made barrier between God and him which allows man to have a part in his own salvation; which is why religion never saves anyone and sounds obnoxious to those 'preached' to. It is ultimately self centered and self serving. Yes, a person must be drawn in by something "different" and desireable in another person; but what causes the obvious change? Millennia have proven: man cannot change himself. The "utopia" so many look to impose on the masses by 'progressive' policy and thought is based on MAN'S preeminence. Throw out God and WE decide what is right, what is wrong - all of it. So how is this 'utopia' progressing? It is a sh*t show. The only answer to our ills is to accept Jesus. Not religion. Jesus. HE changes our hearts - we cannot change ourselves. But first we must believe. "And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him." Put God back in charge. He made us. He set the parameters for our happiness and good. He denies us nothing except the permission to pursue our own destruction.

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Whilst endorsing the general thrust of your argument, I am not sure of your definition of 'moral' and 'religion'. Morals, derived from mores or customs, vary hugely over time and different cultures. It was moral for the Carthaginians to sacrifice their children in 200BC, but not for the Romans at the time (or us). Prevailing morals can therefore never be a reliable lodestone for our conduct. As to religion, almost all the great religions (those that go beyond simple origin stories) are essentially guides to behaviour: what is righteous to God, however (s)he be defined. By codifying the difference between right and wrong they provide a framework within which the individual can operate, if only to rebut and disregard it. One could almost call a religion an emergent property of the concept of right and wrong; so although man does a great deal of evil both within and without each religion, it is I feel dangerous to rely solely on oneself to be the arbiter of one's actions.

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I do not endorse morals - I endorse virtues. "Morals" are in large part what got us in the situation we are in. As for religion, if religion could have done the job of making Ilus better people, it would have succeeded by now.

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"Girls ruminate more than boys. Women are more anxious, on average. We tend to be more neurotic. And so it gets to me when I see girls being told to focus on their feelings, to take their thoughts so seriously, to search their lives for symptoms."

I am getting ready to attend my oldest son's wedding. His fiancé is a beautiful, smart and kind young lady. We are honored to welcome her into our family. I had to have my suit pants altered having lost weight over the last two years. At the alterations business, for both my initial visit and my return to try on the altered slacks, I noted four brides getting their wedding dresses altered... and all four of them were what I would call big if not obese. My future daughter in-law is also on the heavy side. My younger son's girlfriend is also tending to the plump scale.

What the heck is going on? I think the increase in general female weight must be a side-effect of this increase incidence of depression which results in more eating as eating provides endorphins.

I just subscribed to Ms. India's substack, because I think she is onto what is the most important topic of our time. I am on record for it and have been attacked by the inaccurate label of a misogynist for being direct on my opinion that we are experiencing today what is an evolutionary and biologically first for all of human history attempting to push females to the dominant position in society and the economy... and it isn't going well at all.

I am enjoying reading all the fantasy novels written by Sarah J. Maas. She is an example of a few young female fiction writers that do a fascinating job creating female warrior heroes that exhibit standard female behavior (e.g., emotions are stronger and less controlled), but within a society and culture where standard male behavior exists (e.g., direct male aggression and strength). She also elevates male-female sexuality into an almost animalistic narrative. There are unbelievable aspects because it is a fantasy genre, for example, the female hero is 19 years old with a hard life that included training on how to fight and wield knives and swords to the point that she would easily defeat male warriors twice her size... and the existence of magic powers that assisted her and others to win over evil.

But the general attempt to manufacture a story of gender equity which the larger context of healthy sexual behavior between males and females, I think deserves applaud.

I blame the feminist movement, the corruption of the education system into an ideological capture hive, gay marriage and social media. But mostly I blame the feminist movement that had accomplished equality and lost the level headed leadership to be replaced by the angry, resentful malcontents... the vulnerable narcissists that would not rest until they could put men in chains as slaves to support their twisted and corrupt views of utopia.

I support gay marriage, but at the time I lamented the anticipated problem with more females who maybe struggled to attract a male mate at their education level to accept a female mate as a consolation. I recently read that the divorce rate for female-female marriages is 72% male-female is 43% and male-male is 28%. I have not been able to verify these numbers... possibly because the social sciences is corrupted with woke bias and this is a study that would likely not be published or would be buried, but it isn't surprising to me as it confirms what I suspected.

I look to Finland as hope for the future. Finland is one of the most progressive countries with respect to women's rights, and in that country more educated women chose to marry and stay home to raise children. Finland also tests as the happiest country.

While I agree with Haidt that social media is a cause of this social chaos and mental health crash, I think it is secondary to the root cause. I think that root cause is radical malcontent feminists that have taken over the education system and have planted these broken and destructive ideas into the heads of the students who have multiplied and taken jobs in institutions of power and influence and are exploiting tech and social media to spread it further. The fix will require more normie females to wake up and combat the radical feminists to take back control of our institutions.

I am encouraged as I see this starting to happen as with Ms. India and others. In Germany the Greens have lost their political power and young people are jumping ship. Young people are starting to see that the current Regime is exploiting the radicals to make them miserable enough to ignore the looting of the Regime. They are done being duped and done being made to feel so lousy while also seeing their economic situation continue to decay. Society will only be saved by young people like Ms. India... us older Baby Boomers and Millennials have really made a mess of things.

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"from how we feel to how we ought to behave and who we ought to be as people."

How we feel is messy, chaotic, ungovernable, crazy. We can't control what we feel. What defines us is how we each deal with our particular brand of crazy. The choices we make. The priorities we set. The answer to all these used to be the family, but with the dissolution of the family, the crazy took over.

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N.S., and Freya, thank you for the heartfelt conversation between the both of you! About being open and public about one's faith: as a Poet I must speak of what is real and true, healing and saving, else I am of no worth to any. As a pastor, 82 years old, I am commanded to openly herald the Good News of God's kingdom, the forgiveness of sins, and everlasting life, in this ruined world and our ruined souls.

May you younger people touch hearts I cannot.

A love poem I wrote to my wife just before we married some decades ago:

*THE CANDLE*

In God’s temple there is a candle lit

for you, burning ever,

its flame of prayer and love ascending

regardless of the storms outside,

regardless of the weather.

.

That temple is my heart, by grace made fit

to love you, that flame of holy love in me

kindled by His own, stedfast and unending,

so I would be the man for you, bona fide

at last, a love not to chain you, but set you free.

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"But it is external authority that helps keep the self anchored" I think authority is the wrong word. It's external responsibility that is the anchor.

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A fascinating exchange; and thank you both for providing in written form. I do find, however, that the medium is frustrating in that it discourages - or does not enable - more than cursory feedback, still less the start of a dialogue. This is not in any way a criticism of this piece, but generally:

a. things worth reading are worthy of contemplation (a word and a practice we have apparently lost) before reply; and a meaningful reply can therefore come only days later, by which time the comments section is so flooded that it is moot whether it will be read, since readers will have perforce galloped off on the trail of the next SubStack piece

b. such a piece raises many issues, each of which could be the source of long and fruitful discussion between a small number of people; but comments are of their very nature fissiparous, and like a fractal painting devolve into endless sub-comments. All valid, but beyond human ability to follow each to a conclusion.

In a way, it ilustrates your point about the atomisatin of society - not so very long ago we would meet with a small group of friends and do this in a more manageable scale. Now, even with a good will, we are trying to communicate with thousands simultaneously...

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as always..there is much truth and value in your writing. But I dont think the critical psychology about the male psychopatic authority during the 50's/60's was wrong, or could be blamed for the lack of a firm cultural root now, the father has been gradually replaced by the internet/media voice, somuch more "clever". I doubt that it is the individual voice of girls/boys that drives behavior, it is the voice of never ending indoctrination, proving the continuous need to be competitive, through artificial means. One of the main reasons why culture does not provide a solid basis for character growth and matureness is because our (the dominant ruling part of our) culture denies the free natural immortal energy, behind life and "death", although it has been known since early civilization and is constantly rediscovered (even in science). And why is it denied: for commercial reasons.... everything is denied because of commercial reasons, even the future generations are sacrified for the holy dollar... love can only be real when one finds all, and also the own body, soul and heart to be made of a devine and free gift.... this truth is not acceptable in kapitalism...

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Stop listening to those who shout the loudest - for it is they who are lost.

In an effort to fill their void, they have shackled themselves to money, power & fame, and their entire media is created to powerfully influence you to imitate their selfish, hedonistic ways - and so in trying, you will fund THEIR goals, not your own!

Love, empathy and the resultant bonding with other living beings is what keeps the rest of us balanced and content - and sane. The caring bond with your pet, your partner, your friends, your family, your community, all help keep you balanced and sane in a increasingly crazy & superficial world.

Unfortunately those minority of people who aspire to be "at the top" are born with zero capacity to feel love & empathy and therefore have zero bond with others - except for in mutual, supeficial, "divide, conquer and revel in the spoils", type activities.

They do not believe in a "bigger picture" for humanity, or themselves, and therefore they believe they have just one shot at enjoyment to the maximum in this life - even to the cost or destruction of others - a "winner takes all" mentality.

As we sucumb to the all surrounding media pressure to become like them, and be more individual and less communal - ie divided - the craziness of the world facade THEY created starts to overwhelm the ordinary caring, loving individual.

The secret is to listen to your heart and feel that there is a "bigger picture" for all humanity, and we are all here experiencing and learning purely to go on to a greater existance once this lifetime is over - and that we should help each other do this instead of passively (or actively) just letting others "drown".

Throughout history there have been thousands of books and religions stating this basic message at their core - it seems the only ones who do not are the institutions created, or corrupted, by the people aspiring to be at the top, and their media and marketing minions!

Don't get caught up in the divisive differing details - look at the basic message to humanity.

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This is very interesting. But I'm surprised a little more attention wasn't given to how we got here. We have moved from a time when men worked and earned more than women to a time when women's earning power is, in general, equal to or superior to men's. If we omit the thin slice of extremely high earning men, women (especially younger women) earn more than their male peers.

When men earned more, they gained respect from contributing to their society and supporting a female partner and family. Of course, there were selfish motives including greed and status. But there was respect to be gained from society and from a wife or girlfriend from earning a respectable living.

Now, women are given an advantage in the workplace. Technocracy wants conformist, educated but not challenging administrators. And it favours women. In turn, women's motivations for working are, in the main, individualist and frequently selfish. Of course, many women choose to contribute to society and gain respect and satisfaction from doing so. But the main motivation is selfish.

Furthermore, and this may be innate, women rarely respect a man who does not earn more than them. As a result, most men are not able to gain the respect of most women through their work.

The maths is fairly simple. And women are working for themselves and becoming more self-obsessed and less aware of the world around them. While at the same time, there is a shrinking middle class in the west, so competition for jobs, wealth and status rises.

And the final component is the fall in traditional religious activity. The result is what we see - the rise of the wokist church. A quasi-religion, with no coherence, no notion of forgiveness, understanding or self-development and an anxiety ridden desire to compete for a shrinking number of middle class places.

But I'm afraid that attempting to resuscitate the church is not the solution. A new form of religion, and spirituality and social cohesion, which may require a new term altogether, is required. Perhaps worldview will suffice. The leading contender is David Deutch's worlview. Which I think can stake a pretty solid claim to being the best scientific worldview available today, as it is more or less the only comprehensive scientific worldview available today.

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